5 Ways To Combat The All-Or-Nothing Mentality
Written by: Emily Bach, MSN, CNP, CHWC
10/22/2024
Do you feel like you can’t find a middle ground with anything you start? You’re either obsessed and doing it all the time, or it’s completely out of your life. If so, this article is for you.
It is so easy to follow extreme guidelines for a short time because they provide quick results and instant gratification. A specific diet or a short, intense workout program can be addictive. It's hard to stop going back to them.
Think about the last time you went on a low or no carbohydrate diet. I'm sure you lost weight because you followed the rules. But then life happened and you had cake on your birthday. You started eating carbs again and regained the weight. Six months later, you want to lose weight again. So, you cut out carbs, once more.
This type of thinking and behavior is often called an all-or-nothing mentality. It can be good in some cases, like for human survival, or when you’re trying to convince your toddler to go either inside or outside, not wavering between.
But, an all-or-nothing mindset can harm your efforts to build long-term, healthy habits. The key to forming habits that last a lifetime is to start slow and with what you can manage at the time. Do you drink two glasses of orange juice every morning? Do you want to stop? Don’t go cold turkey (like an all-or-nothing thinker would do). Replace one glass of orange juice with a glass of water. Do that for a few weeks before you reduce the second glass!
To win at staying healthy long-term, we need to learn the gift of neutrality.
Neutrality: You aren’t running away from it, and you aren’t running toward it. You can either take it or leave it. It just is. Yes, that is a thing. It’s possible. Trust me because I’ve been on both sides.
The transition to this lifestyle requires a lot of trust. Trust that you can have fun things (like still enjoying orange juice once in a while) without having all the bells and whistles (drinking orange juice every single morning).
The transition also takes a lot of practice in doing things in the gray areas.
Here are five ways to combat the all-or-nothing mentality and embrace neutrality:
Prioritize Enjoyment and Systems in Your Life: If you only focus on keeping your routine, you miss out. You skip fun dinners with friends, family pizza and movie nights, and spontaneous road trips. All because you want to keep your early workout the next day. Incorporate some routine and enjoyable activities into your life on a consistent basis. Then, you'll feel more balanced and at peace.
Start Small With Changes: You can get excellent neutrality practice by adjusting your behavior by 10% at a time rather than making a complete change all at once. This lets you feel the difference and get used to "the gray area." A great example is the orange juice method I used above. Once you are fine with just one glass of orange juice, you will be ready to cut back on the second glass.
Don’t Underestimate The Power Of Simple Methods: As a rule of thumb, stay away from the newest trends and fad practices. They will enforce restrictions and soon push you to an all-or-nothing mindset. They are very appealing. Marketers promote them to sound like they will solve all your problems! But if you continue to do this, you will never get out of the all-or-nothing mentality. Instead of following an external source, know your human limits. Keep your practices doable.
Make Your Behaviors Part Of Your Identity: As James Clear says, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become”. Every day you go to the gym, no matter the workout, is a vote for the identity of "I am someone who exercises 5 days a week." Practicing the reps of the behavior (getting your gym clothes on, driving to the gym, etc.) is a great way to get out of the all-or-nothing mindset. You don’t have to do an hour workout! Even 10 minutes will put your “vote” in for your identity.
Reward Yourself for Progress: The all-or-nothing mindset causes you to either feel "successful" or a like a "failure." You link your actions to being "good" or "bad." Try rewarding yourself for even small successes. For example, arriving at the gym, even if you don't go in (seriously)! This will build up your confidence and momentum to do it again the next day. The next day you will likely make it into the gym!
The take-home message is this: Neutrality can be a tough place to get to but is essential if you want to stick with healthy habits. With good old-fashioned practice, it is possible. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll never want to go back!
Talk soon,
Emily
Are you looking for more tips like this? Join my FREE weekly emails on health, weight loss, habit change, and nutrition!
